Valet Service #14525

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The Story

It’s a slow day at the Highway to Hell Hotel parking lot, so Jake the part-time valet plunks himself down on a ‘53 Plymouth coupe for a little breather and a cigar. It’s time for this skeleton to rest his bones. Ah, yes…feels pretty good to take a load off, even if the load is apparently pretty light already. It’s great to relax in the sun for a stretch while contemplating things and watching the grass grow through the asphalt.

One thing for certain about Eternity, it sure takes a while. So why not hang out and have a smoke if business is slow? The boss won’t even care. He’s here for the long haul too. Chances are, the boss is probably smoking an Old Crypto-Nite stogie himself while watching old western reruns in black and white. He’s already seen every Tarzan movie ever made 47 times.

Sometimes there’s a big tent revival nearby, which means considerably less traffic on Route 666 coming past the hotel. It’s then the road can look downright empty. Business slows to a crawl. Just last night, some preacher was spouting fire and brimstone in the next town over to give people a different set of eternal options. Of course, that meant people were taking a different path to Great Divide and The Other Side instead, and the traffic count fell faster than a wet witch can melt.

I wonder which guest drove here in a forklift? Or is that machine used by the hotel to eject freeloaders and deliver pizza?

How about that classic ’53 Plymouth coupe for a spook-mobile? It doesn’t look like much, but it’s a good and reliable daily runner. These days, it runs entirely on a fifty-fifty blend of ectoplasm and imagination which is totally emission-free. The air quality around Afterlife is actually pretty good if there were lungs around to breathe it.

Location: the parking lot of the Highway To Hell Hotel, Route 666, in the Town of Afterlife. Picture and story © Andrew Dierks

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